You see, I realized some stuff after reading this blog about a writer's lack of motivation and this article about unconventional personal branding rules. I've realized that my life is messy and complicated.
I stopped blogging because I felt like I was doing it wrong. I wasn't writing about anything in specific, I was sharing too much, I was uninteresting, I didn't care enough about expanding my readership, I was putting information out on the scary interwebs that might lead to identity theft (yes, I'm that paranoid), I was putting information out on the transparent interwebs that might lead to risking future jobs (duh, I'm that paranoid), etc.
But here's the thing. This blog is me. This is me trying to figure things out. So yeah. Life is Messy, and Complicated, and Dangerous, and hella Scary. But I can't just stop because of that. So... This is me. Trying to Deal With It.
Lesson #1: Move on. It doesn't matter if you're doing it 'right'. It matters that you're DOING it.
And, because I'm trying to grow as a person and get to a good place in my life, I'll throw in another one for today.
Lesson #2: If you need it, get help.
Because I need help. And I finally called someone about that today.
From now on, I will not be censored. I will not be too scared to say something. I will not worry about whether or not it's safe to post something IF IT NEEDS TO BE SAID. I can't control what other people do; I can't control what people read. I can control my life, and I can control what I write.
Feel free to join me on my journey of learning to deal with all things messy and complicated, and please, feel free to join in the conversation risk free - this is a no judgement zone.
Vale.
~Diana
I agree with so much of this... It's so hard not to care who's following you and what they're thinking and to just be yourself. I'm glad you're coming back because I miss reading and I was SO SAD when I saw you took everything down. As to your paranoid fears (and it's okay, I share them... I refuse to take pictures of myself beside windows because I'm afraid someone's going to zoom in on the window and find some street sign or rare species of tree or something that might betray me) I think posting something like drunk-night-out pictures, porn, or other immoral conduct would be detrimental to your job search...I imagine honesty to yourself, other people, FEARS, and things you're passionate about can only help you.
ReplyDeleteAlso, those are good articles. The one about motivation is completely me right now :(
I miss you, let's hang out again SOON preferably after I've gotten these 4-5 essays finished...though...
Love!
Thanks :) I think it's all those crime shows I love so much... and I think about how if someone wanted to set me up, or stalk me, according to those shows - it would be sooo freakin' easy. That's some scary $4!+ right there...
ReplyDeleteAs far as motivation goes... I've never had it. Or, well, maybe I have... I've never really had the initiative to act on my motivations... which leads to procrastination and lies and some really stupid life messes that could have been avoided. Soo... yeah. That's an ongoing struggle...
We should DEFinitely hang out soon! My brother's getting confirmed this weekend, and we have a whole bunch of family stuff planned, so that wouldn't work, but maybe we could walk to the park the weekend after!
Thanks for reading,
~Diana
Oh I know, I used to think my parents checked the cookie boxes for finger prints so I was terrified to steal food when I was little. But then again, why would anyone want to stalk you or me or anyone so normal?
ReplyDeleteI seem to be getting things done today...but that's just because I skipped school and I'd better be getting a crap load done if I don't want to feel like a terrible person later.
Yay!! Oh, congrats to him :) Maybe so! I'll be sure to message you :3
Oh, life...why is it always so messy and complicated? But yay for trying to learn to deal with it. It's an ongoing battle, isn't it?
ReplyDeleteHi Diana
ReplyDeleteAs a blogger, I totally get what you mean. That is the beauty of blogging. We grow as we write. Our style changes as we find our voice within the blog-o-sphere.
I understand that you took everything down from your past posts. Sounds like a great fresh beginning. A clean slate.
I look back on my past posts and cringe. haha. Sounds like we all do that :)
My only advice to you as a fellow blogger, is to hang with it, keep writing, grow and keep loving it. Your blog will grow with you, organically. Your followers will too.
Much love !
Lynne